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Re: I see her in the morning

Posted by Jost on October 31, 2006, at 0:37:17

In reply to Re: I see her in the morning » jammerlich, posted by TherapyGirl on October 30, 2006, at 21:38:23

Hi, jammerlich.

I'm sorry your T screwed up. You have good reason to feel hurt.

But, you know-- it still could be a really important moment for you both.

As Muffly says-- it could be the turning point, a point at which your relationship begins to become much deeper and more open, and a more profound trust develops. It could also hurt the relationship, if she screws up again, or can't meet you where you need her--

but I am hopeful that she can. I think that you can.

It may sound odd-- but sometimes when Ts screw up really badly, as your T did, for all this time-- without your knowing-- there's a reason-- a meaning-- behind it . And sometimes, when it becomes clear that one's T has screwed up, it's because you're both ready to deal with whatever's gone wrong.

Perhaps this isn't random, or accident-- maybe it reflects something about your history and your way of processing or not processing things-- and hers-- and can show how she can really help you rework some of the old trauma and loss; but it's too soon to think much about that, or to need to move beyond the feeling of hurt--

You've been extremely brave and steadfast this week, which I admire alot.

It is important, as others have said, too, to tell her your feelings-- of being hurt. Maybe you can't tell her that much, right now-- but it's such a very important thing-- your entrusting her with the envelop, and her letting you down so badly by failing to read it.

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, for certain. --- I hope you know that.





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