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Re: got a letter from anne

Posted by ElaineM on October 17, 2006, at 10:43:26

In reply to Re: got a letter from anne » wishingstar, posted by bent on October 17, 2006, at 10:17:24

WS, don't let Anne make you give up on Ginny -- the same way you didn't give up on Laurie even though all that other stuff was happening. I can see why you're so upset by the letter. If I was coming to it with a blind reading then I think it sounds nice, a little formal, but nice. Though I guess it's been made kinda hard to trust the sincerity of the sentiments with how poorly she treated you in the end. If you can't trust her veracity then nice sounding stuff seems insulting, if not downright cold.

It sounds like she could be trying to end her part in your life the "right" way - like what the others said - closure and support and bestwishes. But it's a retroactive attempt, so no wonder you feel hate towards her.

Not that anything coming from her would sound good, but do you think that maybe she feels like such a jerk, so ineffective and insensitive as a T that she could genuinely feel bad for how she treated you. Maybe she can't express it better than that letter - someone people aren't the most sensitive or eloquent - though that would kinda make them not be T material. I wonder if she was trying to walk a line between supportive and something that would sound like an invite back. Or maybe she was just trying to cover her own butt. I guess you can't know for sure.

I'm so glad that you have Ginny. I'm glad you're done with Anne. I think maybe Ginny and Laurie could worry that focusing on Anne too much at the beginning of a new relationship could hurt you forming one with Ginny. I don't think they'd want you to not share - it's still really fresh. I think it's important, and relevant, to be talking about Anne for now. But sometimes in group we used to "put stuff away", or "aside" that was too traumatic at that particular moment, not to forget about, but to work on a different time. I don't know, what do you think? Maybe Ginny has some ideas on how you can approach dealing with the subject of ANne.

I'm obviously not good at understanding all this T stuff and doing the right things, but you've made Ginny sound dear before - keep trying to go to her. You deserve someone noticing you, and listening, and understanding you.
blove, EL




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