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got a letter from anne

Posted by wishingstar on October 17, 2006, at 9:48:24

I havent cried this hard in a long time. I cant take this.

Here is what the letter said.

Dear wishingstar:

I received your mesage earlier this week withdrawing your rquest for a last session. I think you;re right in that a last session would have been unlikely to be productive. I also hear the pain in your words and in your voice. And I know that when a relationship is no longer productive, it is often best for it to end, sad and difficult as that may be.

So as our relationship ends, I send with you my hopes for places of comfort and strength, relationships that support your growth and facilitate your healing, and involvements that call forth the energy you have to give to the world.

Best wishes,

I guess that's a nice letter. I should be glad she sent it, right? I'm not. I would have prefered hearing nothing from her ever again over that. That feels so.. I just dont know. I dont even know how to explain how it feels. But I've been crying ever since I opened it. I guess I hoped for someone more.. not an invitation back to see her by any means (i wouldnt take that anyway), but... something. I hate her. I really do. I wish she would just die. And I've never, ever said that about a person before (or even felt it). I just hate this.

I see Ginny at 1. Thank goodness. But Laurie basically told me on Friday that they both are concerned I'm obsessing over this, so who cares. I cant talk about it to them without further pathologizing myself. I cant do this anymore. This is just too much.




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