Posted by Jost on October 5, 2006, at 20:42:50
In reply to Re: not liking my T's 'other' clients, posted by Racer on October 5, 2006, at 19:44:39
Racer brings up an interesting point, which is that I've seen various Ts --(I started young, and have seen one T or other most of my life, so maybe I"m too weird to rely on)-- and I don't have feelings of competitiveness and need for :"specialness" with all of them.
Only certain ones. I'm pretty sure it's them-- and it's me.
I'm pretty sure it's them, in the sense that only certain people evoke these feelings in me-- and I'm probably reacting to something they're doing-- I'm not sure what, or why-- if they are less responsive and present in the moment, less expressive, less emotionally intense, somewhat more distant or hard to reach-- or what it is--
but I'm pretty sure it's something they're doing.
But it's also something about me-- my need for acceptance, my sense of being deprived (or having lacked) much love, or excitement about myself, or engagement with, emotional attunedness to myself, from my parents. When I come into contact with people who remind me of that-- who stimulate that feeling-- it pains me. I begin to relive some of those old, very bad feelings.
It's important to explore it. Maybe your T can help to make things better. But it is important to resolve that feeling-- I do think the Ts who've helped me have not been the ones about whom I've had that feeling.
Which isn't to say that it can't be worked through-- I imagine it can-- but it hasn't worked that way for me. Not for lack of trying, though.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:692124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/692217.html