Posted by ElaineM on August 4, 2006, at 19:52:43
In reply to Re: wonky but here, posted by caraher on August 4, 2006, at 14:24:28
>>>>Did you notice that the dentist didn't treat you like a nobody?
I suppose that's true (grudgingly). It's hard to not feel like a walking dollar sign. To be honest, he is quite lovely. He was so concerned when I was sick with the anorexia. Earlier this year, he said how happy he and the women were to see me heavier. He said, Let me know when you're ready for me to buy you an ice-cream. He's known me since I was a little girl.
It's hard though to hear stories of his richness, or hear others paying a small percentage for their work -- I know it's only self-pity, but I can't help wishing I was in a better financial state. He wouldn't bat an eye tossing down a grand for something, but it kills me -- more every time.
But, that said, it's not lost on me that he was kind and as helpful as he could be. It's good that you remind me to notice things like that. Infact, he's also kind of therapeutic in a way. I've had a hard time letting anyone at all get that physically close to me. I'm so nuts that I don't even like the hairdresser. And you should've seen how much LadyDoctor had to work to let me let her near. THe first time after, when Dentist tried to work on me, I was shaking so violently that he said he was uncomfortable, cause he was worried that he was hurting me. I shake a bit less now, though I still flinch (even today) when he's so close that his body touches me. And to be embarasingly honest, I sometimes like that he is "hurtful" and nice at the same time. That he does something painful and then half a second later says Sorry. It's comforting, or enjoyable, or like a hug, in a way.(?) Crazy girl.
Vacation? How nice. "Not a hospital trip" is nice too ;-)
hugs, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:672170
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/673776.html