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...continuing LadyBug

Posted by ElaineM on August 4, 2006, at 19:16:09

In reply to ElaineM and Happyflower...How are you?, posted by LadyBug on August 4, 2006, at 14:33:54

LadyBug, it's sweet of you to ask. (And I don't mind sharing a post at all) This first escapade at the dentist was okay, I guess. It hurt, but it was a hurt that I'm okay with. I can take pain like that, even though it's brutal. Which sounds weird, but it's a kind that makes sense to me. The novocaine is out now and it is sore -- I can't really tell what the outcome is yet. Plus the exact tooth above it is one of the other problem ones. So it's still hard to eat. It's still down my neck so swallowing stuff and keeping it down is a production -- I'd look pretty silly if you saw me, massaging capsules down my throat and trying to deep breathe to relax the muscles.

It's so hard with overlapping problems. I was not doing well before all these teeth suddenly erupted out of nowhere, so I still have to deal with the other stuff, and get to tests and appointments for that, at the same time. It's so much to take. I don't know how to keep doing it day after day.

My T comes back tomorrow and I know he'll ask me if I want to get together, and even though I really really want to be with someone, I don't think my body's up to it. But at least he'll be back, and can come with me if I have to cave and go to the hospital. And that makes me feel a little safe.

I'm a little worried because he was going through something emotional himself before he left, and we were going to work through that together. I'm ready to help, but I'm also dreading it because I don't think I'm capable enough, and won't be able to say or do something wise or comforting. I miss him alot though -- it's been an eternity for me.

I'm wishing I had something good to write about, but that something never seems to get here. I'm trying to get "the system" to help but that's not going how I hoped either. Sometimes it just seems like my body, my mind, and the safety-nets are all failing me. I can't wait for T, he's all that's left.

Thank you for asking. I was waiting to hear about your surgury as well. Even though it sometimes hurts a teeny tiny bit hearing about others get well -- it's mostly nice. That's something I'm trying to work on -- using stories of success as signs of hope. It's hard though. I hope you know what I mean without me sounding narcisitic and cruel.

I know that I definately want to hear that you are mending. Did you make it to your T session on Thursday? did you let her come to you? ;-)
Give me an update.

thank-(((you))) so much for thinking of me,
ELaine

ps. if you want to know the gory details ;-) it's in a post in my thread a little up the page. Blech!


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:ElaineM thread:673681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/673762.html