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Re: More about me not wanting to call T » Racer

Posted by fallsfall on July 27, 2006, at 9:39:13

In reply to More about me not wanting to call T ? sleepygirl, posted by Racer on July 27, 2006, at 1:11:54

My first therapist wanted me to be less dependent. So she discouraged calls. I knew that I could call her if I belonged in the hospital, but that was about it. Earlier, I did call her a number of times (when I was miserably suicidal), but she made it clear that I was supposed to learn to handle those times myself.

Then I changed therapists. He is on vacation and I have his cell phone number, and I could call him right now if I wanted to and he wouldn't be upset (he might not answer if he didn't have cell coverage, but he would call me within a day or so). I was tentative about calling him (even during office hours), because she had taught me so well that it was a bad thing. But he was different from her, and I did call a few times. Then one day in a session I said something about calling too many times. He is usually a very clear blank slate - but he had a really surprised look on his face and told me that I certainly didn't call too often. He was so honest with that reaction that I knew it was true.

Different therapists see calling in very different lights. They see dependency in very different lights. My first therapist's philosophy made me worse. My current therapist is helping me.

But, boy, do I understand feeling guilty about calling!




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