Posted by Tamar on July 26, 2006, at 5:03:21
In reply to In therapy tonight- i heard a part- hates me:(, posted by kerria on July 26, 2006, at 3:00:08
Hi Kerria,
I don’t have DID so I don’t know if my experiences are quite the same, but I have sets of feelings that I identify as younger selves. I don’t know if it’s the same thing as having parts, but it’s certainly a real aspect of my identity at the moment.
Anyway, there’s a 13 year-old who is basically OK and wants to fit in, and likes me most of the time, although she thinks I’m totally uncool and she hates it when I do things that embarrass her. There’s also an 18 year-old who frequently despises me, but nevertheless wants me to look after her.
I think negative emotions are really hard to deal with, especially when they come from within you and are directed against you. I tend to think that most negative emotions – anger, criticism, hatred – come out of pain and fear. So maybe this very critical part is hurting and is criticising you and other parts as a way of trying to protect herself.
Do your parts talk to one another? Can you or one of your other parts ask the critical part why she’s picking on you? Maybe tell her you don’t understand why she’s being so mean to you?
It must feel awful to feel so hated. And inner conflict is never easy. Getting all the parts to play nice isn’t easy at all. But maybe you can work on ways to help them to tolerate each other and you? Just because they don’t always like what you say and do, it doesn’t mean you are doing things wrong. And like the rest of us, maybe they can learn to resign themselves to other people’s imperfections.
I hope things get easier for you soon.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:670607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670614.html