Posted by fairywings on April 11, 2006, at 23:45:36
In reply to Is therapy worth it?, posted by wishingstar on April 10, 2006, at 23:07:23
Hi Wishingstar,
Therapy has helped me see some things recently, that otherwise I wouldn't have seen. Sometimes I wish I hadn't started bec. it's hugely painful to realize those things. How could I have lived all this time, and not been aware of those things b4? I let too much time pass w/o "knowing", and it hurts because you can never get that time back, there's no "redo" button.
And since I've become aware of those things, I've been thinking about my relationships in general.... and it's painful to think I'm just a speck....and I"m just another "folder" sitting on his desk.... when I terminate, I'll just be filed away in a room somewhere.
I read the ambivalence in some of the posts, and I feel all of it, and yet, like most people, I wouldn't trade it for anything bec. he's given me something no one's ever given me .....a different "something". Once a week feels like it's not enough to fill up my "something" void...but I don't know how much would be enough - or if it could ever be filled, and I can't hope for someone else to try to fill that void, I guess only I'm capable of doing that, but I don't know how. And it all feels so depressing.
Sorry, didn't start off thinking my post would be such a drag......
fairywings
poster:fairywings
thread:631620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/632027.html