Posted by caraher on February 23, 2006, at 14:17:50
In reply to What my T said about me and school, posted by Racer on February 23, 2006, at 2:02:21
How are you twisting things... well, you argue that because you are capable of getting an A you need to get an A. Maybe your T is asking you to think about what "needs" are genuine and which are not.
I may have been capable of doing all the odd problems and checking all the answers at the end of the book. But I never did that in school. Did I "need" to do that? Not really. My grades were fine, and I could do other things with that time.
The suggestion that you get a B or lower to realize the world doesn't come crashing down if you don't get an A is not about suggesting that you not get an A. It's about realizing that you have many needs, and that life is about choices. By pursuing a false need, or giving undue weight to one of several competing needs, you will be worse off than if you'd taken a more balanced approach to schoolwork.
I graduated first in my high school class and my eldest son currently holds that class rank. I did not obsess about grades for myself and I don't with him. But my wife gives him a big speech every time he doesn't get an A+ in a class she thinks is easy, complete with dire warnings about classmates who will "pass him." I think his being valedictorian means more to her than it did to me or does to our son. I learned that those grades meant nothing in terms of living a worthwhile life. And I definitely did not get all A grades in college and grad school, even when I was thoroughly "capable" of doing so. It just wasn't worth putting that much of myself into worrying about it.
poster:caraher
thread:612340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612487.html