Posted by B2chica on February 16, 2006, at 9:57:34
In reply to I need some help -- trigger, posted by Daisym on February 15, 2006, at 17:57:41
very good question. i actually am a little weary of your statements because they ring SO true to me also...
i feel obligated to do as my husband wishes, mostly i feel out of duty. i absolutely HATE oral sex but have done so to please him...i just want him happy. but i did fight for one space in our house that i paint in...i had to really fight and stand up but i did it and feel really great about it.
and my hubby always wanted to know what i was saying in therapy, luckily my friend told him several times that what i say to T is private, he's slowly learned to accept that but every now and again i'll feed him a little info...some of it lies but it keeps him at bay. and about the journal, for the first two years that i was journaling this was a BIG issue, he was constantly trying to read it and would be angry if he saw me writing in it. i told very first T about it but he never gave me any feedback. the next T (who just left) told me that my journal IS private and i need to make a boundry and keep it up. after several sessions talking about that i did. and finally my hubby still gets annoyed if he sees me writing but we don't argue about it anymore (knock on wood).
-and my hubby hurts me with words all the time but i think it has to do with him feeling out of control and he tries to hurt me to 'get back' at me. looking at it, it's pretty childish but there it is.
But i do love him and i think he's working on that.so my point. ..."REALLY??" is a very understandable response for me too.
i just feel like all i've known is so messed up and i don't know which end is up right now. i don't know where i can stand and where i can't.i really like your T.
so i guess after that long response my answer to your question is i don't know how to keep my own center. i'm constantly guilted into all kinds of things, including questioning myself....
my T said it's cuz i'm on a completely different level than most people in the way i think and they can't accept or understand it but that i'm good. and i shouldn't question who i am. and follow my gut.be good to yourself DaisyM, i'll stand up for you. i'll hold your hand and say 'NO"! and i'll repeatedly tell you there is NOTHING wrong with what you believe or think. you are a kind sensitive and very intelligent being.
protect that.(((((hugs))))))
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:609993
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/610195.html