Posted by Tamar on January 26, 2006, at 17:45:45
In reply to horrible story *triggers*, posted by James K on January 24, 2006, at 1:30:41
Gosh, James… your pain comes across very strongly in your posts. And you seem to hate yourself so deeply. No one should be hated as much as you hate yourself. It’s too much; it’s not fair to you.
I don’t know much about you… I only know what I’ve read here. But one thing I know is that you deserve to be loved. You are obviously a sensitive, caring, compassionate person. There should be more people like you in the world.
I agree with what others have said: trying to quit the booze is very important. It’s not easy, but I think it would help. You’re no longer using alcohol just to numb your pain; you’re using it as a way of losing your inhibitions against hurting yourself. It’s not helping you; it’s hurting you.
From what you’ve posted, your wife sounds pretty supportive and loving. Do you believe she loves you? If you hate yourself it’s all too easy to focus on your responsibilities rather than on the strengths you bring to the relationship. And yet, she’s still showing up when you need her. It seems to me that she is showing you she loves you even if it’s hard for you to accept. And that means (of course) that you are loveable, even if you find it difficult to imagine.
I dunno… I don’t know much about you and I don’t know anything about your marriage… but I know I enjoy reading your posts and I know I care what happens to you. I hope you will find the next few days and weeks a bit easier.
Best wishes,
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:602300
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/603116.html