Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: i have been thinking...

Posted by alexandra_k on October 24, 2005, at 23:50:14

In reply to Re: i have been thinking... Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on October 24, 2005, at 23:40:34

and that old p-doc...
is in the sh*t for having seen me when i was 'functioning too highly'
and the specialist assessment isn't worth sh*t
for the obvious reason that she is in private practice
private practice where everybody who wants treatment gets treatment
not the public service where they'll only want to treat you if you fight that tooth and nail.

they used to talk about bpd as being on the borderline. the borderline between psychotic and neurotic (technically). unofficially... the borderline between sane and crazy.

and thats me
thats where i'm at
and it is like fighting to stay sane
fighting to stay sane
till it gets you in the end...
and sometimes i just feel so tired
and like...
there isn't any hope
because if you do what you have always done
you get what you have always got
and i don't understand how i am supposed to do this myself
i don't understand how i am supposed to fix myself
i don't understand
and all i know is that they don't care
they don't care
they just want me to go away
they have been trying for so long...
and i knew they were doing that
but then sometimes i'd question myself
think it can't be that bad
think i was being paranoid
think that i was being unfair to them
think that i was being selfish
but i was right
they just want me to go away
they have been trying for so long
and my inability to accept that...

it is like a three year old throwing a tantrum
and so i let them take what little self-respect i have
and i degrade myself by begging and pleading and anything anything

and this has to stop
i know it has to stop
and its over now
because i'm discharged
and that is that.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:563562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/571607.html