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Re: i have been thinking...

Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2005, at 21:28:41

In reply to Re: i have been thinking..., posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2005, at 20:18:14

i don't want them harming me anymore
i don't want their diagnoses
i don't want their judgements
i don't want their predictions about the course my life is going to take
i don't want them encouraging my dependence
i don't want them

i don't want to view myself as having a mental illness
i'm not ill
i'm not sick

i'm okay.

i can work through stuff for myself
i can babble about it to others and get a variety of perspectives
i can talk to caring people on the boards
and irl too

and i have realised just how closed off from rl i have become
i turn away from rl to come here

here is wonderful
here is safe
but i need that real life stuff as well
and i need to cultivate that
and i need to think more about my work
than about dramas on the boards

because i don't want to think...
that i'll die without this place
that i can't connect with people outside this place
because if i start to think that
then this place will harm more than help too...

i guess this is going to be a lot like an alchoholic trying to give up drinking.
when i get distressed i want the service to help me
i think about that a lot
the way alchoholics think about drinking
its an addiction
and it will take some time

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:563562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/569100.html