Posted by fallsfall on October 23, 2005, at 10:55:06
In reply to Re: Chapter 3 » fallsfall, posted by Annierose on October 23, 2005, at 7:45:26
> Falls -
>
> Everything makes sense from both sides of the couch. Maybe he underestimates how much we support each other and he is afraid of someone saying "you shouldn't be having those types of feelings, sounds too intense, leave." He doesn't want some unknown person to tell you what to do with these feelings. Luckily, most of us are here because we do have intense feelings about something ... a lot of us have feelings about our therapists, whether it's described as attachment, dependency, love, etc. And more often than not, we truly understand what another poster is describing, and help them bring these thoughts into the therapy room.I don't think that my descriptions of what goes on at this site have given him a good understanding of what we do. Either I'm not explaining it right, or he is hearing through filters. I can't figure out any way for him to understand other than reading babble - which I haven't been able to convince him to do. Maybe on Thursday I'll ask if we can spend the session reading Babble. But at what point am I just continuing to argue with him? How do I tell if he DOES understand, but simply disagrees? This is a common pattern for me. I believe that the other person doesn't agree because they don't completely understand - when in reality perhaps they don't agree because they don't agree? How do I determine the difference? When do I stop trying to convince them of my perspective and start listening to theirs?
>
> I'm not sure if my T knows the name of this site. I figure, I am myself here. There is nothing I have written that eventually doesn't make its way into therapy ... well, not some babblemail thoughts : -)Right. I have not written anything that I don't want him to know. Because he can't help me if he doesn't know these things (all things). Secrets don't help me.
>
> We need you here Falls. I love reading what you have to say. And I'm flattered that you brought in my post.
>
> Now we are off to pick some pumpkins, sip cider, chow on doughnuts. Yum.Yum. Hope you had fun.
Falls.
poster:fallsfall
thread:570043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/570886.html