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Re: Chapter 2

Posted by fallsfall on October 23, 2005, at 10:15:39

In reply to Re: Chapter 2 fallsfall, posted by gardenergirl on October 22, 2005, at 23:47:24

>I said that I thought it was good that I was starting to figure stuff out on my own. Yes, it takes the intensity down in our sessions, but it's what I will need to be able to do more for myself when I no longer can see him.

Yes, I think that part of their job is to teach us to do therapy by ourselves. Just like a parent teaches a child how to take care of themself. Some patients achieve that independence quickly, others take a long time (even forever). But I think that those of us who take a long time are still learning - it's just that we have so much more to learn than those who are done quickly.

> That's the $64,000 question (or has it gone way up with inflation and all?) :)
> I know that the time I had that really bad session and wasn't able to see him for a week, it was very very helpful to be able to process it here. I could have tried to go in earlier, but I admit I was afraid to call, and then logistically it was too hard and then too late.

Would you have made more of an effort to see him if you didn't have Babble to fall back on?

This is actually the time he mentioned Babble and diluting transference.
> Okay wait a minute. I'm getting big emotionally intense events mixed up. It was actually the birthday fiasco just after the Babble party when this came up. I emailed him my first post when I really let all the raw hurt and stuff out. And I told him that I had been sobbing on the phone with Racer that evening. (really really sobbing...I think I scared her for a minute.)

So, I can understand them not wanting to lose this emotion, and wanting to see it for themselves. But what is it that they expect us to do? Burying it doesn't seem helpful (because THAT dilutes the emotion, too, or at least makes it hard to call the emotion back on command). So we are left with this emotion that doesn't quite understand that our session is 32 hours away. I don't quite think that they want us to call THEM every time...... (Though Freud did take his patients on vacation with him). So I guess we need to either process the emotion or tolerate it. Maybe that is the key - to tolerate the emotion between sessions so it can be processed during sessions. But if we can make progress with processing it between sessions, why shouldn't we utilize that time? Why should we wait for them?
> And I think that I had worked thru some of the emotions by the time I was able to see him, and so perhaps it was less "gratifying" to him that he didn't get all the intense and "juicy" emotion, but instead a watered down version?

Sometimes it does seem like they just don't want to miss out on the juicy details... I know better, but it does seem that way...

> I don't know. I think maybe we need to do what's best for ourselves. If we post a lot and find that we are starting to see things one-sided based on others' responses, maybe we need to rein it in. But if we take what we learn from on Babble, and put it together with what we learn in therapy, and take the best, toss the stuff that's not relevant...that seems like a very useful and healthy way to approach it.

Good idea.
> >
> What a tough question. I kind of have a gut, abstract feeling of what it would feel like to balance this well, but I can't describe it.
Thanks for helping me think it through.

> Not to talk too much about DBT, but it's a "wise mind" place, I think.
Ugh. Mindfulness is still greek to me.
> Take care,
> gg




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