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Re: Chapter 2 fallsfall

Posted by gardenergirl on October 22, 2005, at 23:47:24

In reply to Re: Chapter 2 gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on October 22, 2005, at 18:53:37

> *I* want to come up with some of those great interpretations...

And you know what? Doing that is a very healthy thing. My T was kind of funny when he said that my interpretation enlightened him, and that I had made it first and then said, "but it's not a competition." I said that I thought it was good that I was starting to figure stuff out on my own. Yes, it takes the intensity down in our sessions, but it's what I will need to be able to do more for myself when I no longer can see him. It's actually kind of nice not to cry through the entire sesssion every time now, and when I do start to, it is a big clue about something.
>
> And I did tell him that I was angry even though it felt unkind. It was just difficult - uncomfortable. And yes, I think it is related to the critical transference issue... You are so smart.

:) I'm glad you did that. Good for you.
>
> So how DO we maintain the intensity while making progress on our own and surviving between sessions?

That's the $64,000 question (or has it gone way up with inflation and all?) :)

I know that the time I had that really bad session and wasn't able to see him for a week, it was very very helpful to be able to process it here. I could have tried to go in earlier, but I admit I was afraid to call, and then logistically it was too hard and then too late. This is actually the time he mentioned Babble and diluting transference.

Okay wait a minute. I'm getting big emotionally intense events mixed up. It was actually the birthday fiasco just after the Babble party when this came up. I emailed him my first post when I really let all the raw hurt and stuff out. And I told him that I had been sobbing on the phone with Racer that evening. (really really sobbing...I think I scared her for a minute.)

And I think that I had worked thru some of the emotions by the time I was able to see him, and so perhaps it was less "gratifying" to him that he didn't get all the intense and "juicy" emotion, but instead a watered down version? We still talked and talked about it, and that was very helpful. He still had insights and interpretations that I had not come up with yet.

I don't know. I think maybe we need to do what's best for ourselves. If we post a lot and find that we are starting to see things one-sided based on others' responses, maybe we need to rein it in. But if we take what we learn from on Babble, and put it together with what we learn in therapy, and take the best, toss the stuff that's not relevant...that seems like a very useful and healthy way to approach it.

Kind of like when I post a dream. I do that because I think it's interesting to hear what others react to in the dream. But ultimately, I still know it's what it means to me that's most important. I appreciate and think about what others say, and some of it influences my thinking by broadening it, making me reflect, etc. But we can't go by any one person's opinion or any one general way of thinking. At least to me, that's less adaptive and healthy.

What a tough question. I kind of have a gut, abstract feeling of what it would feel like to balance this well, but I can't describe it.

Not to talk too much about DBT, but it's a "wise mind" place, I think.

Take care,

gg

 

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poster:gardenergirl thread:570043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/570734.html