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Re: All/Ms. Lott: Restorative Justice/Love with T

Posted by allisonross on October 20, 2005, at 10:52:39

In reply to Re: Loving your Therapist deborah anne lott, posted by pinkeye on August 2, 2005, at 17:49:59

Hi, Ms. Lott: i intend to read your book! Would you read my story? www.psychiatricjournal.com...entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse by Alice Carleton (published with the Ph.D.'s, no less!)

Also my website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com....faith-based poems of anguish, healing, hope and comfort.....after being voted out of a 31-year church membership (what I know now, is legalism), because I got a divorce fter 31 years of abuse (consider myself an "expert' in verbal abuse---it is rampant on our planet, and rarely noticed)......my name was put up on a big screen in front of the church, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD. i fought the spiritually abusive system for 18 months, to try and stop the pastor (of disaster) from 'counseling" any more women, because 2 of them wanted to commit suicide, because of his "counseling" skills.......I was called to a meeting of deacons (17 "men"), not allowed to have a woman present, and asked if i was 'still having sex with my ex." no boundaries! My therapist showed up to journey with me thru the debacle. he taught me the most valuable words I ever heard: RESTORATIVE JUSTICE--This is what you did---this is how it made me feel....so empowering to someone abused for a lifetime (except for 3 years in the army)....my therapist told me that it sounded as if "God was dictating the words of the poems to me." it has been a phenomenon; strangers from all ove the world; with the most healing, exquisite words to say to me about my website. I waited 2 years and wrote to everyone in that church --10 page letter! (restorative justice), and then requested the amount of $ I had to spend in therapy from the 'pastor"---a year later, the church's insurance company sent a "token" amount ...I fell in love with my t after over a year; I told him that if I had met him somewhere else, i would have been attracted to him, etc......only been attracted to a few men in my life; it happens rarely.....I told my t that he is me....in male form! He explained transference as......not some hidden, voo-doo thing that some people think it is (of course, there is the Fruedian transference), but as my T explained, we ALL experience transference; simply feelings we engender in each other, etc....anyway..........it is very painful to be in unrequited love (although there are many boundary "bendings' I am aware!!.....he decided after long discussions, that we could 'still do good work together" Thanks so much for reading this; I would tell you the whole story, but only in a private e-mail! Hugs, Alice (overcomer and wounded-healer). .P.S. I counsel abused women, because of my lifetime of experience and extensive research.......


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