Posted by messadivoce on October 19, 2005, at 18:52:05
In reply to Re: Talking about transference to your husband/SO? » JenStar, posted by orchid on October 19, 2005, at 18:27:36
It's a sticky wicket, and I understand how you don't want this info to come out later when you have possible kids. Obviously, you don't want to put unwanted trauma in their lives. But then again, I agree with JenStar about how some things in therapy are best kept private.
My fiance did not react favorably when I was in the middle of the transference. He was upset because *I* was upset all the time, and withdrawn, and we had strain in our relationship and trouble communicating. Now that I'm on the other side of it and have a bit more perspective, he is a lot more understanding. He understands the transference thing, and he sees the dificulty I have today in my relationship with my dad, so it all makes sense to him.
But there are things about therapy that I keep private, just because I know *no one* would be able to understand those feelings and interactions except me. And it keeps unwanted worry and stress out my relationship. My fiance trusts me implicitly. Trust has never been an issue with us.
He is a little wary of me ever going back to therapy, though, because he hates how I withdraw from him.
I know your husband has been mean and downright violent in the past, and although I hope his good behavior lasts, I wonder if telling him this will make him angry? Only you know your husband well enough to know if this is a good choice.
poster:messadivoce
thread:568926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/568985.html