Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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I wish

Posted by messadivoce on September 19, 2005, at 1:55:10

I wish
that I could have cried.

It's been nearly 2 years now since I've last seen him
sat in his office

but I still wish that I could have cried all those tears

my heart often felt like it was being squeezed
and my breath came in gasps

but I couldn't cry in front of him

I could be vulnerable, but not that vulnerable

and yet I have been less close with other human beings and still cried in front of them

I wish I could say his name to you all.
But something keeps me from doing that even though I wish I could

His name means so much.
It means "beloved, greatly loved"

I was afraid of him at first
and then his gentleness coaxed out all that pain
and I began to trust him, a little
and before I knew it, I loved him
with a savagery and completeness that wiped out
everything else

I loved him. His name wasn't a mistake. It was a gift.

And there is still a hole where he used to be.




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poster:messadivoce thread:556736