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Re: T says he's sorry. That's all :( kerria

Posted by rs on September 17, 2005, at 16:13:17

In reply to T says he's sorry. That's all :(, posted by kerria on September 17, 2005, at 0:55:51

Hi Kerria
First have been member for some time but do not post often. I have been following your post.
Kerria I have been in treatment for DID for sometime with a T that moved out of state. The work was hard but knew to make things better had to really want to face parts and the past. Accept.
When T moved took sometime to find another one. Did with must determination. Yes it is difficult to find one that will work with this and support but it is possible.
Kerria I have suffered much in the past. I cannot explain the abuse that was suffered but today am healing from it. Therapy is painful. I am fourtante to have a great T but I had to search and be willing to comunicate with parts no matter what.
It can be done. IMO I feel it is time for you to either find a different T and keep on searching. My T is there but I do the work. He is there during sessions and caring but it is up to me to do the work. He cannot know how it is to be me or can anyone else. Yes he can support and listen and see the pain from different parts. He talks to different parts but will always share what is said and we work from there. Not easy. Honestly darn hurts. But it can be done.
There is no way around but to do the work. If you feel this T your seeing is not helping please search. No matter what t you find your going to be responsible for the work. Not your T your husband etc. Oh many times I blame my T because of the pain that is felt inside in different ways but in reality it is not him at all is the pass abuse that was suffered. I am accpeting all of me for me. To find peace and happiness. Work Ft which is very difficult at times but have no choice. I know I cannot blame parts for whatever happened or happens today. I need to learn to take responsiblity and know they helped me. No its not again easy and painful.
Kerria I am telling you all this because I understand having DID causing different parts, different ages, different sex, different feelings and different memories. I am slowly healing and accepting.
I wish you the best and healing is possible and accepting and also finding the right T. But this was all up to me.
Hang in there and IMO think time for a different T if this is how you feel about present one. Also my T again can listen support but honeslty cannot identify or no person can unless they have been through it and everyone suffers in their own ways.
I hope this did not sound cold which did not mean to be.
Just that i have hurt much and still do at times but know what I have to do and willing to take the risk no matter what. It is up to me to do it.




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