Posted by alexandra_k on June 28, 2005, at 19:06:58
In reply to Re: grr » alexandra_k, posted by Damos on June 28, 2005, at 18:58:08
Thanks Damos. I'll be okay. Really. I will. I'll email t today and see if I can get in to see her this week. She said she didn't have any openings... But we will see...
I just...
What did I expect?
I guess...I don't want to be the victim. But it is so easy for me to play that role and hard for me to see things differently. It would be so very easy for me to put all the blame on him and feel hard done by and abused and angry. But that doesn't really help me. And all I did was push him away completely. I do think of him as a bit of a self-absorbed worm. I guess that came through pretty clearly. But I wish I had taken a bit more time and been a bit more careful. I don't want to see things that way.
I guess... That really he did not want to work with me. But then he saw that nobody else was going to and so he tried to help me the best way he knew how with the assessment and trying to help me get funding. And seeing me. But he didn't really want to. And so I guess that I did see things the way they were there. I don't know. I guess I thought he could offer me another way of seeing it. So I wouldn't see it as a personal rejection. But doing that takes time... Most probably time that he does not have. And what to say... I seem to have a knack for getting him on the defensive. I think he might be worried I'm going to lodge a formal complaint against him. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't.
I don't know what to say.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:520334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/520744.html