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Re: Now I need a giant ace bandage!!

Posted by annierose on April 18, 2005, at 16:22:22

In reply to Re: Band-aide anyone for a bruised ego? daisym, posted by annierose on April 15, 2005, at 15:07:59

I feel a little like GG in her post below. I feel like I lost my safe place too. My T and I tried to work out what happened last Thursday, and IMO, she made it worse.

I think one of the inherent problems with therapy, the client tends to talk mostly about difficulties and problems that they experienced (past & present). It's a distorted picture of the person. And it doesn't account for the functional (& happy) parts of the client.

So when I tell my stories to my T, I tend to do so with my sense of humor, my cadence to my sentences ... which, being the Italian girl I am ... is a little on the fast, loud and embellished side.

Last Thursday she told me I was harsh. And, trying to be a grown-up and learn from her observations, I did take her comments to heart. But most doesn't ring true to me. In discussing this with her today, she told me "you hate quickly". WHAT THE HECKERS??? I may make the comment, "oh I hate that" ... but it's just an expression I have used, I don't have ownership of HATE towards that subject, i.e. the feelings don't usually run that deep with 95% of the things I might say in passing, "I hate that." She was referring to my comment "I hate that noise" ... well, who likes the sound of 5 - 7 lawn mowers blasting in their ear during the quiet place of my therapy?? It was intrusive to my session time.

The more she kept trying to help me understand her point of view, the bigger the hole she was digging. I told her I felt criticized, and judged. On the one hand, she wants me to feel comfortable and open up, but when I do, in my opinion, she judges me harshly. This is new. So then I wonder, is she trying to push me into thinking about my behavior. Do I think it's a problem for me? Maybe just a little when I come across people that do not know me well, may think I come on strong.

I spoke with my husband and best friend about this entire situation. My husband said that he doesn't think of me as harsh, just honest. I'm pretty straightforward in my life, what you see is what you get. No false pretenses. But I'm not rude.

Now I'm more confused than ever. My safe room is now filled with a doubting therapist and client. I usually lie down, but today I sat up for 15 minutes, then lied down with eyes wide open, and angry for the remainer of the time. I do go tomorrow, and I will just sit the entire time. I'm mad. I'm hurt.

These relationships are so darn HARD.





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