Posted by pinkeye on April 12, 2005, at 16:07:58
In reply to Re: I'm regressing :-( » pinkeye, posted by messadivoce on April 12, 2005, at 15:45:42
That must have really hurt - to see your dad being affectionate and warm towards everyone else and not with you.
Many people are like that - they are externally very warm and friendly and nice to everyone - their colleagues, friends etc, but in their own family, they fail to treat everyone nicely. Even my father was little like that.. he used to talk very friendly with everyone, was perceived as very intelligent, humourous and social, but to my mother, he was pretty arrogant and controlling and angry all the time. It made me suffer so much. My dad was a doctor, so he was perceived as very strong and supportive and my relatives used to come and ask him for support and help all the time, and he used to behave very warmly with everyone. But if my mother complains of some illness, he used to brush her off very arrogantly and put all the blame even for the illness on my mother. He was extremely impatient with me and my mom.
I never understood why sometimes people behave like that. I guess when you really don't have inner strength and emotional maturity, you jsut try to pretend as though you have all of it - by treating others well in your workplace, but when it comes to the real place where you need it - in your own family - you fail miserably - Because in your family, you cannot pretend - not for long. You need to have real capacity for emotional maturity and strength. For outside you can just pretend for a short time and get by with that and be perceived as strong and warm.
poster:pinkeye
thread:483154
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/483415.html