Posted by LG04 on March 22, 2005, at 21:15:04
In reply to Re: I read further » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on March 22, 2005, at 18:50:40
Pinkeye that was so helpful. i almost always give in to the emotional self. my therapist would tell me that it's like when you have kids, sometimes, as the parent, you have to make the best decision for them even if they disagree. but as much as possible you try to give them choices and work together with them. but in the end, the parent has the final say. something like that anyway.
i appreciate your strategy. as soon as i read it, i tried it with myself and i think it will be helpful for me. if i go with my emotional self, i will never be able to speak with my therapist again. they are terrified of her right now, they were so re-traumatized.
i'm still not sure if i'll be able to call her on thursday. the adult me is also still mad, that she didn't hear me when i told her this is putting me over the edge. i have called her hysterically crying on many occasions though so probably she didn't think this was any different than another. if i explain to her what happened, and what she did that triggered me (specifally not making herself available in case of a crisis and saying that it's a permanent change), i have a feeling she will promise not to ever do that again. i keep telling myself, "she didn't know. she knew i was in terrible pain, but she didn't realize she was re-traumatizing me."
i don't think it's too unreasonable to ask one's therapist if they can be available by phone in the case of a crisis. (as long as you don't have weekly crises!)
i also saw my mom tonight and that helped. i told myself, "now here's the real one to be furious and terrified of. here's the real one who didn't protect you. it's not ****'s responsibility to protect you from your father. it was HERS."
anyway this has simply never happened to me before with my therapist and that's why i'm just so shaken and thinking and writing about it so much.
thanks again pinkeye,
LG04
poster:LG04
thread:473495
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/474300.html