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Re: Fear of Talking, Relationship, Abandonment...

Posted by Poet on March 20, 2005, at 18:46:17

In reply to Re: Fear of Talking, Relationship, Abandonment... Long » Poet, posted by littleone on March 19, 2005, at 19:45:06

Hi littleone,

> Sometimes I wish that denial was a physical object, like say a bunch of vines across your pathway. Then you could hack at it and chop it down and it would be gone.

Use some weed killer and destroy its roots. That would be so much easier than hacking away at it mentally.

You are so right that denial is smart and convincing. I have so many logical reasons for not trusting my T.

I told my T to stop saying she cares about me. Your T may be right that if they tell us how they feel about us we sense that the relationship is dangerous. Like a red warning light with a siren goes off and causes the fight or flight instinct.

I know my T won't reject me. I told her that if I quit (again) not to take me back. She said she can't do that, she would always take me back. That doesn't stop me from trying to get her to abandon me. Something that I am so afraid of, but can't stop myself from trying to cause it.

>I hate being with people. I don't care about people. I don't need people. I can get the love I need from animals.

That is so like me. I can tell my cats that I love them, but I don't think I've ever told my husband that I do. If I do, I don't want to get into that...

I'll try to take a watch and wait stance instead of running away from the idea of relationships and interacting with people, too.

You're right again that it is my defenses that are making a mess of me. I am going to try to remember that when I want to quit, I need to stay because what's scaring me is important to work on.

My T doesn't play cards with me, but we talk about movies. Plus she does energy work and that's good for those sessions when I say nothing more than okay, yes or no. It's good for me anyway.

So is babble.

Thanks for your insight and first hand knowledge. You've been a big help.

Poet

 

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