Posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2005, at 22:10:50
In reply to You have to change to be acceptable, posted by fallsfall on March 8, 2005, at 11:59:42
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> I don't understand how we can both be accepted as we are right now, and still have goals to change. If we have goals to change, doesn't that mean that we aren't acceptable the way we are?Think of Oprah, or someone else admirable. Don't they also have goals? Aren't they also working towards personal growth and self-actualization? Aren't they also okay right now just as they are? So are we. Being acceptable doesn't preclude someone from growing and changing. And I think that viewing yourself as acceptable within the context of where you are in your own developmental process is fine--as long as you don't fault yourself by comparing your place on the journey to others. You are where you are. And that's okay.
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> I know that my therapist would be happy if I were able to go back to work - because he knows that is what I want. But doesn't that mean that he will be unhappy if I can't go back to work?Nope. It doesn't have to be either or. We all would be happy if you get to do what you want to do. But we love you as you are, too.
Doesn't it mean that he equates success with my going back to work? He tells me that those conclusions are not valid. But I can't believe him.
Believe him. I do. He can both accept you as you are and also be a partner on your journey to self-improvement.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:468228
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/469020.html