Posted by fallsfall on March 8, 2005, at 21:29:43
In reply to Re: You have to change to be acceptable » fallsfall, posted by alexandra_k on March 8, 2005, at 16:59:21
Thanks, Alexandra. You make some good points.
I think that I have accepted that I can't work today. What I haven't accepted is that I may not be able to work next year. I have a goal, but honestly don't know if I will be able to achieve it or not. I don't know how many obstacles will be in my way. I don't know if I will be able to successfully get around them.
>Try not to think of it as moving from a less perfect state to a more perfect state though.
Think of it as moving from a less prefered state to a more preferred one.This reminds me of when we would fix bugs in our software programs and say that we had replaced that "feature" with a more popular one 8^).
You are correct that the "I *should* be able to earn a living" doesn't seem to be helping. But somehow knowing that doesn't make my expectations change.
I think that some of my frustration is that I *have* figured out what I need to do in order to change the situation. But I find that I am not able to do those things - which leaves me stuck in the situation. So now I need to figure out what I have to do to be able to do the things that I need to be able to do in order to go back to work. It just seems like I go from baby steps to microorganism steps...
What you say does make sense. But I haven't figured out how to do it. It all seems to hinge on acceptance - and I don't have that. And to say "OK. So I'll just accept myself." seems to be sort of like how you describe your experience with CBT... Sigh.
poster:fallsfall
thread:468228
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/468495.html