Posted by 10derHeart on February 1, 2005, at 20:12:50
In reply to Re: To Tell or Not to Tell New T.(long) » 10derHeart, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 1, 2005, at 8:40:35
I think you are practical and correct and I thank you so very much for taking the time to be honest and "look out for me", so to speak. I always look for your posts because you bring a balance to my own thinking that's often badly needed.
I didn't mean to come across so strongly that I'd *never* tell about the behavior. Of course I will. I guess the question is more when. When is the time right? Maybe I'm overthinking and trying to "coddle" my new T. Give him everything in just the right order so he can understand. Which I recognize as silly, really. He's older and more experienced than old T. He does resonate with me already, but in an entirely different way. I know, as I find myself snapping my head up, saying, "Exactly!" when he tries out an analogy or a metaphor for something I've said. He'll surely understand things no matter how the stories come out.
You're right about the time and money. I told him last week I was frustrated in not knowing what topics to pick, because I couldn't afford the waste time or money. I even wondered if I needed to be there. He said he saw three choices when I felt this way. I can come in and talk about whatever I want each time, and just be patient and see what unfolds. Or, he can be more proactive and ask me some questions (he rarely has so far - only follow up types). Or, I can stop coming and call him if I need him. He said he was NOT in favor of the last one. I told him to please ask his questions next time. I'm curious and maybe finding out what he wants to know will spark some things. (Hmmm, funny how he allowed that session to go 65 minutes so I could finish a painful story..)
Wow, did I digress. Sorry. Yeah, I do still idealize my old T. But I think because I'm so utterly aware of it, it's okay. As far as the pedastal, it's awfully hard to knock him off. He played a huge part in saving my life when I was depressed and suicidal. He handled my termination and the recently wrapped up transitional stuff by email beautifully. I kept trying to get him to let me down. But of course I know it would have happened if we'd kept working together. You're still wise, though. I have to guard against that holding me back. If nothing else, old T. would be frustrated if I wasn't delving into issues because of something to do with him.
Oh, my. Therapy in 13 hours - hope I can make it worthwhile.