Posted by 64bowtie on December 2, 2004, at 8:57:12
In reply to Re: About griping and grumbling... picture this..., posted by Gabbix2 on December 1, 2004, at 19:58:50
> I also think, (it's probably not news to any of you) that when someone is griping and grumbling it's hiding a lot of hurt or anxiety underneath.
<<< Thanx Gabbi. You got it! Griping, grumbling, complaining, and even gossiping all give us a sense that we are now empowered against the perceived injustice.
Believe this or not, we are invoking our Moms to take care of the problem. Our Moms could all be long dead or thousands of miles away and we still do it.
We all develop the habit in childhood, which is good for then. When we generalize it as adults, its now folded in as part of our collection of bad habits. Our collection of bad habits is our "dysfunction".
In all fairness, this is new information never studied by the DSM-IV people; the literati of the Mental Health Industry.
Czek it out! To this day, my 83 year old Dad says anytime he sees someone behaving some way he thinks is illegal on TV or elsewhere, he blurts out in anger, "That's against the (US) Constitution. They should put that guy in jail." (Who is the "they people"? The Constitution police?)
In my Dad's case, he views the Constitution as an absolute. In truth, the US Constitution is a living document with the ability to adapt and change, sometimes on a single vote of Congress. So reverence to it as an absolute is an illusion and one of my Dad's bad habits. My Dad's Mom died in 1952.
Occasionally in the past I would have flailing "road rage" while driving on the crowded California urban freeways (mostly while in the LA area). This was a bad-habit.
This was initiated by my gut, my second-brain, "The Second Brain". I was always the only one who knew why I was so annoyed and animated, so what good did it ever do?
About eight years ago, I did it, and watched myself do it, sorta out-of-body. I'm certain that gal I was raging about didn't even notice. ...and anyone who did notice, thought I should be locked up to protect humanity.
It took me four hours before I was totally over it so I could reason again, smoothly. I'm also certain I will die four hours sooner because of that rage incident. Sad!
My raging is no longer a possiblity, and no longer one of my bad-habits.