Posted by sunny10 on December 1, 2004, at 12:02:10
In reply to Re: About griping and grumbling... picture this... » messadivoce, posted by LG04 on December 1, 2004, at 9:22:54
I agree with what Rod is saying here, but I think what the ladies are saying is that we don't have the resources necessary to formulate the communication to "work it out".
I speak for myself, here (but probably for others) that the REASON I was trying to get help through therapy was to learn HOW to communicate because I was taught the "good girls keep anger inside" and was never taught two important things;
a) that anger is okay, and that I have a right to conflict resolution. (okay- so I learned that in therapy)
b) how to initiate a conflict resolution having never been given the tools to do so. (which, after 4 therapists, I still don't know)
Incidently, I have quit therapy because all four therapists that I have been to over the years have told me just what you said. Stop griping, get over it, solve your conflicts. Problem is, they never bothered to teach me how!
So I'll go back to trying "conflict resolution" that I've been told to do- knowing that in another few years I won't be able to even be rational anymore because the process doesn't work if you don't know how to do it and my emotions will be overwhelmed from all of the failures!
I'm hoping that I just won't care anymore- and I frankly just don't let myself get emotionally invested in anything anymore. If I don't let myself care, theoretically, I won't be hurt by failures. My ego will still be bruised, though, I'm sure...