Posted by 64bowtie on December 1, 2004, at 1:05:27
This is an example of an alternative modality:
Client: "Gripe, gripe, grumble, grumble!"
Manager/coach: "Ok, I heard and understand your gripes and grumbles. So, what is your request?"
Client makes the first request.
Manager/coach hears the first request and responds: "That's not a request. That's another gripe."
Client makes the second request.
Manager/coach hears the second request and responds: "I hear and understand your request and I can't do anything to help because that is not within my power to do."
Client makes the third request.
Manager/coach hears the third request and responds: "Ok, I hear and understand your request. Response in two days is not possible. I will have results for you in ten working days. Bear in mind that I must involve managers and staff from two other departments to aid in delivering results. You may check on my progress daily. Do you have another request?"
The illusion is that the opposite of griping, grumbling and complaining is "stuffing down our feelings" and suffering in silence. Instead I have not bought into the griping. I have initiated discussions of a remedy, a resultant, a solution. What's missing with griping is clarity of the problem and comunication to establish a strategy for overcoming the issue, the problem, the conflict.
Because I didn't waste time and effort buying into the "cancerous" diatribe, we have strategy and a projected solution, and I am accountable for the success of the strategy.
The giping, grumbling, complaining, and gossiping of the disgruntled individual is "hot-air" next to the solution strategy containing full accountability.
Griping, grumbling and complaining, tears at the fabric of cooperation in your home as well as at your work. Clutter destroys work flow progress, and griping destroys teamwork progress, at home and at work.