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Re: Yesterday I lost it A LOT! » daisym

Posted by Dinah on November 26, 2004, at 6:54:52

In reply to Yesterday I lost it A LOT!, posted by daisym on November 25, 2004, at 17:41:49

> And then there is this other floating thought that says maybe I don't need him as much as I use to and I am rejecting that feeling, because it is really scary to think about that. What if I don't need him, but don't want to give him up either?

Oh heavens, do I identify with this. I think it's part of where I am in therapy. I haven't been dwelling on it as much lately, because honestly he's not being that useful to me and I often leave therapy feeling more alone than when I came in. I know you don't have *that* problem with your therapist. :)

But if I ever sit down and think about it, it'll probably restoke those fears.

Mine is off today, and I'm trying to figure out how I feel about it. I did go back to twice a week, partially because money is going to be really tight with my not working as much as I should. But I know part of it was that I was thinking "He thinks I need three times a week except when it's inconvenient to him. Then whenever he can see me is fine." I'm not too proud of those feelings. He deserves a day off, I suppose. But I know the feelings these holidays bring up. When he's free to choose to do whatever he likes, I'm not part of that choice. :)

But your therapist did choose to make you part of his day off. :)

 

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