Posted by antigua on November 15, 2004, at 13:31:35
In reply to body memories **may trigger**, posted by underthecs on November 12, 2004, at 19:41:02
I just wrote you this very long reply and drat it, I lost it. I couldn't recreate it even if I tried.
I certainly don't think you're crazy; I've experienced many of the things you described! There are people who can help you--you can use babble email if I can be of help at all.
I've been where you are now. It's unbelievably painful and disorienting. As other posters have asked, do you know what triggered this two years ago? If you can begin there you will slowly find your way through this. For me, the trigger that unleashed the dam of emotions was when I went into a severe depression at the time my son would have been born if he hadn't died as the result of some medical tests I had undergone. I confused my relationship with my doctor to the point that I coudn't function. I know now that I was re-enacting earlier childhood relationships with adult figures but all I knew was that I felt out of control and couldn't understand what was going on.
Your experiences with sex are not unusual--nor is your disbelief. Denial is a very strong thing, and it served me very well when I was young and didn't know what to do. I still deny that I was sexually abused, but the facts get in the way now. As to body memories, I know what you're talking about. For the first time, one night last week I woke up screaming and yelling, fighting off imaginary attacker(s?). I've never done that before. I'm having many more physical memories now so please know you aren't alone.
You can post to us if it helps.
best,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:415216
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/416271.html