Posted by shortelise on August 24, 2004, at 0:47:11
In reply to Re: Some therapists, posted by Susan47 on August 23, 2004, at 23:28:21
imagine Being The Therapist.
You sit in a room acutely observed by nutcases all day long.
They accuse you of all sorts of nasty stuff.
Half the time they hate you, half the time they love you.
They tell you horror stories.
They remember your license plate number if they saw you in your car one time.
You can't wear sandals because they stare at your toes.
You can't wear shorts in the hottest weather because they'll stare at your knees.
Heaven forbid you should look like dirt because of a bad night - they'll be convinced, one after another, all day, that you hate them and wish they were dead.
I'd way rather be on this side of the room.
If I were in therapy with a person who could not humble herself to apologize, I'd have real trouble with that T. It's been an essential part of therapy for me; we've been able to discuss wrongs we have each done to the other, and both have made apologies. Like any other relationship, I think it's important to talk about the things that go badly, and "make up".
I think if it were me, I'd go back with an apology of my own: T, I am sorry if last time I badly approached the subject of the contretemps we had a few months ago. I did not mean to (whatever). It's just that I very much need you to understand how that event affected me, and I feel that if you did understand, you would apologize. I feel disrespected.
What I would need to know is if her refusal to apologoze was about me or about her. Is there some therapeutic reason for her pride on this point? Is she trying to teach you some therapeutic lesson here? Could you ask her these things?
Of course, I would weep through most of that little speech, but hey, I'm a psychiatric patient. :-)
ShortE
poster:shortelise
thread:381328
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/381587.html