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Re: Boundaries (may trigger)

Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2004, at 16:24:35

In reply to Boundaries (may trigger), posted by lucy stone on August 14, 2004, at 15:56:52

Mine sounds about the same. Except for using more self disclosure.

> He would never encourage me to add an extra session, even if I were in great distress.

Mine has learned that in the past, I've sometimes been unwilling to ask for another session even if I want one (because being told no would hurt), and I hint about it. So now if he thinks there's a chance I'm hinting, and if he has the time available, he'll ask. At the same time, I've gotten better about asking.

>
> He would never call to check on me, even if I had had a very difficult session or was in obvious distress.

Absolutely he wouldn't. When I've discussed other people's therapists he actually said he never would. He doesn't even return my calls unless I specifically say he should. If I leave open a maybe, he doesn't. Well, that's actually probably flexible. Sometimes if he thinks I might be upset, he'll return a call even if I don't ask him to or he'll call me if I called his machine and hung up. But there's no pattern to when he will and when he won't to my eyes. It must have to do more with him.

>
> He would never volunteers any personal information about himself.

Yes, mine does. He uses himself in examples sometimes, and I often find it useful because it makes what he says less authoritative.
>
> He very, very seldom initiates the conversation in a session, he waits for me to start.

Mine doesn't seem to have strong feelings on that. He strongly believes it's my therapy, so he'll wait for me to start because he thinks it's my responsibility to guide the therapy. But if I seem at a loss, or if I am chit-chatting, he might ask how something specific has been going. Sometimes I just give a brief answer and move to other things, but it seems to jump start me.
>
> He seldom carries thoughts or topics from one session to the next, he waits for me to do that. Once in a while he will start a session with thoughts from a previous one, but they are rare.

Mine will sometimes start ask about a between session call. But he usually forces me to pick topics. It's not that he doesn't remember. He's gotten really good about remembering. And sometimes he'll tie something I said this session into something I've said recently. But he never says "Last time we were talking about...". I often do.
>
> There is more, but these are the things that stick out for me right now. On the flip side of the above, he will try very hard to add a session if I tell him I want one, even if he has to stay past his usual leaving hour to do so. He always returns calls promptly, usually within an hour or two. He will answer any question I have about him as honestly and truthfully as he can. So he's great, but has a different definition of boundaries than many other Ts.


Mine too. I'm pretty cynical about the adding sessions part, but he seems to believe that I should see it as a sign of caring.

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:377663
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377670.html