Posted by lucy stone on August 14, 2004, at 15:56:52
One thing I find interesting about this board is the way different Ts approach boundaries. I have come to realize that my T has much stricter boundaries than others. I understand that the boundaries are important for my protection but I struggle with them constantly. We have had many arguments about his refusal to cross the boundaries and it is one of the things that cause me problems in my analysis. It isn't just because he is an anlyst, because he was the same when I was in therapy with him before we started the analysis and he tells me that he approaches all of his patients the same way. Below I have listed some of the things he does to keep the boundaries. I am interested in how they differ from what other Ts do.
He would never encourage me to add an extra session, even if I were in great distress.
He would never call to check on me, even if I had had a very difficult session or was in obvious distress. We had an argument about this once, and he implied that he would not call and check on me even if I were in one of my suicidal periods. I have promised that I would call him before I hurt myself and he said that he trusts that I would do that. I'm not sure I believe him on that one (that he wouldn't call), so I personally think he would.
He would never volunteers any personal information about himself.
He very, very seldom initiates the conversation in a session, he waits for me to start.
He seldom carries thoughts or topics from one session to the next, he waits for me to do that. Once in a while he will start a session with thoughts from a previous one, but they are rare.
There is more, but these are the things that stick out for me right now. On the flip side of the above, he will try very hard to add a session if I tell him I want one, even if he has to stay past his usual leaving hour to do so. He always returns calls promptly, usually within an hour or two. He will answer any question I have about him as honestly and truthfully as he can. So he's great, but has a different definition of boundaries than many other Ts.
poster:lucy stone
thread:377663
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377663.html