Posted by daisym on June 21, 2004, at 14:47:52
In reply to Re: Increased therapy making me worse (I think) » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on June 21, 2004, at 14:28:08
Glad I wasn't the only one. I "knew" it was going to be hard this year but I stuffed it away. But I was distracted and tired all day and had that tightness/pain ball in my chest. Luckily we were at my in-laws so I didn't have to do much. I realized late last night that it was about Father's Day.
What I have noticed is that anxiety in general is more of a problem as we get near some of the really hard subjects. I know the goal is to unload some of the emotions that surround the old memories so that they don't destroy you when they surface but that seems such a long way away. I think I've "told" most of the really hard stuff now, but I can't say that it isn't all still really emotional for me. And confusing. And sometimes we go down a path that surprises us both with its intensity and pain. I think the description of "Lair of the mind" is a very good one.
I have therapy in 3 hours and I honestly can't think of what to safely talk about today. Of course, I was having the same problem on Thursday and thought I would take the easy way out. I said, "since I don't having anything pressing, is there anything we've touched on that you feel like we should go back to?" I thought he'd say, "let's just see what comes up..." Instead, turns out there was an issue that he felt was really important to talk about and I was completely surprised that he brought it up. (Yes, I had been consciously, highly avoiding it.) So essentially I opened the door for him. *sigh* It was a good discussion but a long way from "safe".
Let's practice:
T: "How was your weekend?"
Me: "Fine."Think that will work???
poster:daisym
thread:358286
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/358684.html