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Re: Comments on Appearance in Therapy

Posted by LG04 on June 1, 2004, at 15:20:26

In reply to Re: Comments on Appearance in Therapy, posted by Poet on June 1, 2004, at 14:39:26

My therapist compliments me a lot, both on things I am wearing or a haircut, etc, and otherwise (kind, intelligent, etc.). I compliment her a lot too, in the same ways (more on the "otherwise," less on the appearance). I've never really thought about it actually. It feels fine to me, feels natural. I think I agree with Antigua, that to me it means she notices the whole me. I have told her that I am very sensitive about my weight and don't want her to compliment me if I lose, or comment (obviously!) if I gain. She forgot and asked me the other day if I've lost weight, because I had lost a bit. But I overlooked it. We've talked about my weight issues and she has reassured me many times that my being overweight doesn't matter one iota to her, and I do believe her. (my mom was obsessed with my weight so it's an issue for me) She has told me a couple of times that she thinks I am pretty. That made me feel good since she has to look at me for more than two hours a week...:) At least I know she's not suffering!

I do know that I think about what I am wearing when I go to see her usually. But I think that's an issue that comes from a lifetime of a mother who obsessed over my appearance. It hasn't been a big enough issue for me to bring up with my therapist, there are always more pressing issues to talk about. Maybe someday we'll get to it.





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