Posted by tinydancer on February 1, 2004, at 3:52:48
In reply to Dear me! » Dinah, posted by Racer on February 1, 2004, at 0:40:08
No, the knowledge hasn't tainted therapy for me at all. I have to be open and honest with my T about whatever it is on my mind. No matter what that may be. It was terribly difficult to ask but he respected my desire for an answer. He honors my honesty by being honest with me himself and that means a lot to me. I know that he is married with children and that he does not want to cheat on his wife, he has spelled it out for me, so him admitting to sexual fantasizing about me doesn't change his standpoint.
I also agree that it is natural to have sexual thoughts about a lot of people, but I think after I admitted that I was having feelings for him and was attracted to him that it was maybe natural and even human instinct to think about me in a sexual nature.
My T is only a few years older than me, and we share a lot of similar interests and opinions, and I have been attracted to him since the first day I saw him. To me it isn't 100% transference. I care about him a lot and think he is a wonderful person.
Even though I said this to my T there was definitley no flirting going on. He answered my questions in a serious, thoughtful way, being clear to establish that this didn't mean that he had changed his mind about my "propositions" (I always ask him if he would just take me out for one night! Just one night!!) He also has a sense of humor and I think an amazing sense of boundaries. Like....I don't get a hug, even when I ask. Makes me mad but honestly, who knows where that could lead. Even I had to admit that if I did get a hug, I would go for "as good as it can get" hugging!!
But I think its amazing to be able to talk to your T about anything and have such an honest relationship. I could never trust him otherwise.
poster:tinydancer
thread:307682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/308014.html