Posted by Rigby on January 19, 2004, at 19:42:40
In reply to Re: Having Gone The Special Circuit... » Rigby, posted by crushedout on January 19, 2004, at 9:30:25
Thanks.
> I love your posts, Rigby.I am wondering if your some of your stuff (my stuff, everyone's obsessive stuff) around what our therapist thinks of us, whether or not she feels the same way, etc. may be a big old smoke screen and distraction.
I'm amazed at the huge obstacles I could and can put into the process so that I do not have to deal with some very tough stuff. Nothing conscious. But how much easier to work on achieving mutual attraction with my therapist than to focus on abuse that predates my ability to speak.
Back to the point about how her saying something benefited me. I guess it's hard to say how it would have gone had my therapist not confessed her feelings. Heck, maybe it's best to think it was all for the good: "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been.’"
But being told that I was special and, in a sense because of this she needed to "leave" hurt like heck. It still does. I chalk most everything up to transference but that doesn't minimize its significance. I needed (and probably still need) someone to follow me into some fairly dark places; I don't think she could handle going in and still stay grounded.
She took some risks with me. Maybe enough. Maybe not. Maybe she's skilled enough. Maybe not. Time will tell how this one plays out.
> I'm also finding myself playing the devil's advocate a lot with everyone on this topic lately. In reading this post, I was thinking, well, if your therapist had never told you how special you were, you might not have addressed your seductive/controlling/need to be special thing as quickly (or at all?). So, sometimes I think it's better that Ts are genuine and honest about their reactions to us. Maybe all the time in fact.
poster:Rigby
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302913.html