Posted by Karen_kay on January 19, 2004, at 11:58:08
In reply to Re: being Special » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on January 19, 2004, at 1:06:02
The thing is when I kept badgering him to tell me I was his favorite client, he became very frustrated. Actually at our last session, he started on his "bit" about how people don't make you feel anything you choose to feel things. I countered with, "Well, don't I make you frustrated sometimes?" to which he immediately answered, "YES!" And I grinned, knowing full well he would fall into that trap. I love to contradict him, rather make him contradict himself :) It's the highlight of my day!
But, when I was badgering him to tell me I was his favorite client, he wouldn't tell me. He was very frustrated. He kept saying, "Why can't we just move past this? Why is it so important for you to be my favorite client? Why won't you just let this go?" So I did. But, when he actually said it, I really wasn't expecting it. I hadn't asked him about it in quite some time. And I really didn't care. I honestly think it just slipped out.
But, he does make me feel like I'm special but he usually says it. Little things like offering me water, saying that I'm the type of person he'd hang out with in real life, complimenting me and saying he's proud of me and the work I've accomplished (not only in therapy but in school as well).
I agree that therapy is about getting the things that you didn't get as a child. And I was quite lacking in support and nurturing. I honestly feel that my self esteem has improved. In fact, I know I'm quite attractive. So what if he flirted a little to get me to feel that way. Boundaries, schmoundaries.... If an intelligent, handsome man who knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets says I'm beautiful (whether or not he thinks it's true), maybe others will too, right? I mean, I am the world's biggest (mind you not fattest) skeptic and if I believe it, take it as law!This just has me wondering, does he tell all of his other clients they are beautiful? I know he flirts with other clients, he told me that. I'm OK with that, I suppose. But, does he tell others that they are his favorite as well. Oh well, I guess in a way, he's an actor anyway. He plays the part of a caring individual whose only purpose is to look after my needs. And you know what? It seems to be working at this point. I see results. I'm going to quit questioning him (YEAH RIGHT! How many times have I said that???)... I'm not going to quit questioning him. I will still keep my eyes open, but his approach is working. If he gets to close, I'll smack his hand, but I'm still going to shake my butt every time he's walking behind me and hope he's looking. I do have a nice butt you know.. And I don't need him to tell me that! :)
poster:Karen_kay
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302741.html