Posted by DaisyM on January 16, 2004, at 13:42:50
In reply to Re: Moving Past Transference » Rigby, posted by antigua on January 16, 2004, at 12:11:26
I find that recognizing that I have needs has been one of the hardest parts of this. Since I didn't know I had them, they didn't feel unmet. Now, they feel too big for anyone to handle which explains alot about why I have always been so self-sufficient. (that, coupled with past experiences).
I actually think my Therapist in some ways is trying to encourage a transference, or at least a more secure dependency because I let him get close and then I "run" back inside myself. We've many times had the "but this relationship ends, so why would I want to do this to myself" conversation. He always responds with a very honest, "yes, this ends. But for now I'm here to support you and not fail you, (like everyone else in one way or another) and we won't end until you are ready."
I'm also aware that he continually finds areas where he sees friends, family, etc. offering support of some kind and he points it out and encourages me to recognize it or take it. So I think he is trying to expand my list of people to trust for me. I can see how having someone listen and accept what you feel could result in you building trust and trying it again.
I think though that the intense support offered makes me more lonely in my "real" life until I feel brave enough to open up to someone about all of this. That is one of those unmet needs I wish I had never become aware of.
poster:DaisyM
thread:301600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/301655.html