Posted by Catmom on January 24, 2004, at 23:47:55
In reply to Re: Moving Past Transference, posted by ILoveYou,PeeWee! on January 23, 2004, at 1:02:49
There are a lot of wise posts here. I think that we all have every-day "transference" and that a lot of our relationships, our opinions about people are a sometimes chaotic mesh of transference, projection, identification, and "reality" (whatever that it).
With therapy, the transference is heightened because we are in a vulnerable position with a person who represents power. A kind of needy "love" can often ensue and it can feel gripping. You feel as if you will do anything to win the approval of the therapist.
I started with my therapist in Oct, 2001--it's been almost 28 months now. I see the transference slowly and organically wafting away. I don't think about her very much outside of therapy. I don't worry at all about what I'm going to wear to sessions. I'm starting to care less about what she thinks of me and much more about what I think of myself.
Clearly, gaining indepence from needy or fearful fantasies is a good thing and I'm very glad that it's happening. It now seems quite conceivable to me that I could live without seeing her. But I don't think that we can will ourselves into or out of a transference. It happens, organically and sometimes stealthily and usually takes a while to build up and a while to subside.
Your mileage may vary, as they say.
Good luck, Rigby and everyone else!
poster:Catmom
thread:301600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/305213.html