Posted by antigua on January 16, 2004, at 12:11:26
In reply to Moving Past Transference, posted by Rigby on January 16, 2004, at 11:34:56
You've described my goal very well. I have had enough years of therapy and transference issues to know that when my dependence on my T or a particular male authority figure begins to consume me, then it's time for me to look at who/what is really behind it. I never have to look very far; it's always one of my parents. But it's hard to take the other "person" out of the equation and focus on yourself. For me, at times, it was much easier to obsess about that other person. I don't really have that luxury anymore because I know what it means now. It kind of took the fun (but also the agony, I must admit) out of the intense feelings.
Thanks for the thoughts. I sincerely hope that you find your way. My T told me once that people who have unmet needs usually approach life two ways: one, they spend their whole life trying to meet those needs through the same people who didn't meet their needs in the first place (it's just not going to happen); or two, they find other fulfilling, internal ways to meet those needs. Recognizing that we have those unmet needs, and being able to identify them, is a huge first step. And yes, the goal would be to have the needs met in a healthy way and finally to end therapy.
Thanks for the post; it made me think.
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:301600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/301611.html