Posted by Catmom on January 13, 2004, at 22:49:53
In reply to Re: needing a hug being refused, wish it didn't hurt, posted by metalflipflop on January 13, 2004, at 15:58:24
Liz, I really really feel for you. I know how devastating things can be if you are not on the same page with your therapist. Like you, I don't abuse the telephone with my therapist (I have called her about a couple of issues and she spoke with me at reasonable length--when I next saw her I offered to pay her for her telephone time, but she declined graciously). I have also sent her a few written communications: 5 in the past year; none very lengthy. She has acknowledged all of them within the confines of the session.
She has been extremely consistent in the 28 months I have seen her; I had only ONE session in which she admitted that she had been unable to sleep the previous night because I questioned her about unusual "fidgetiness" on her part.
To stay or to leave? My therapist is a "keeper" (and believe me, I've known a couple of really bad doozies).
There's a theory I've read about: the therapeutic "frame": the "frame" is a largely predictable "way of being" that you can expect from your T. The "frame" should not be changed or violated at all without a reasonable, comprehensible explanation.
First, the hug was a part of your frame and now it's not. Were phone calls and letters ever a part of the frame? I think that we can benefit most from the transference, and the entire therapy process, if the frame remains consistent and predictable.
Changing therapists or terminating therapy is a huge move; sometimes it is a wise move. A lot depends on your community and its resources: are there a lot of available therapists, or only a small number?
I am doing quite well in general but I acknowledge that so much of my improvement comes from the consistency my therpist has displayed and from my knowing what to expect.
I am so sorry that you feel hurt.
Sending you a virtual {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
poster:Catmom
thread:298399
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300448.html