Posted by lookdownfish on December 2, 2003, at 16:21:10
In reply to Therapist gives in once again, posted by Karen_kay on December 2, 2003, at 14:31:38
You are persuading him to pay you the compliment and also trying to tell him that he needs to stand his ground. Which of these options do you want most? It's a paradox, like, I would love my therapist to invite me out for a pizza, but if she actually did it, I would be horrified at her lack of discipline and boundary breaking. You're lucky you don't have someone really tough and mean like my therapist. She never says anything nice to me. Sorry I can't remember - is your guy a psychoanalytic therapist? They are not supposed to give you gratification, because that temporarily alleviates your pain and sense of deprivation, instead of getting to the bottom of it... and telling you you look beautiful is definitely gratification.
poster:lookdownfish
thread:285945
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/285994.html