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Re: I'm having trouble making an appointment Susan J

Posted by shar on November 16, 2003, at 22:44:22

In reply to I'm having trouble making an appointment, posted by Susan J on November 14, 2003, at 9:15:17

hmmmm, Susan, maybe you're depressed.

I mean that in a slightly cynical, humorous, understanding way. I have the 'paralysis' experience fairly often now over different things. Like I'm a substitute teacher, get calls to go in and work, and am totally paralyzed by fear/guilt/whatever. So, I don't go. I am unemployed, so NOT going is ridiculous.

I will let bills stack up and up and up because I can't pay them, I have panic attacks about financial insolvency (panic attacks are new for me), and still I'm like a stone.

My therapist says being alone doing things is much harder than sharing doing things. Well, wouldn't you know, I was raised by the Queen Herself of Self-sufficiency-and-don't-trust-anyone-else. So, I suppose my point is (and I have not read this whole thread) that when someone else is involved, even if they are yelling, it's a bit easier than being Atlas with the world on one's shoulders.

And...the things that we feel like Atlas about may be as "minor" as a phone call, or as "major" as turning down work.

I think when the time is right you will call your therapist. If nothing else, I will encourage you to do it, it could help, and you are not alone.

PLUS I sometimes forget that the unpleasant things I experience are symptoms of my dis-ease. I keep beating myself up about not having energy, and one day I realize....well, that's a major symptom of depression! Who knew? Well, I KNEW, but I didn't apply it to myself.





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