Posted by fallsfall on November 8, 2003, at 22:30:51
In reply to Re: Oh man./ Poet, posted by kara lynne on November 7, 2003, at 16:28:06
Kara,
I'm sorry. I know that you have relied on her, and she often seems to help you a lot. This is a nasty situation. The dual relationship has concerned me in the past.
I think that you HAVE to talk to her directly and very openly about what you are seeing. You need to do this for two reasons. First, if by some chance you are experiencing transference here (i.e. if she is paying attention to you, but you think that she isn't), you need to work it out with her. Second, if there is no transference and she is not giving you the attention you deserve, then she needs to be confronted and you deserve an apology and a referral. The two of you have known each other long enough that you owe it to each other to find out what is going on.
If she was not giving you the attention you deserved and is not able to completely ensure you that this problem won't happen again, then you need to stop seeing her. A bad theraputic relationship can do real damage. And if you do tend to attract bad relationships and not know how to end them, then this is the time to learn.
I wish it could be different. I know that you don't feel like you have other options for other therapists. But let's talk about that and see what could be figured out.
Maybe it's just transference (and that would mean that you would have pain, learn a lot, and get to keep seeing her)... I'm hoping for you.
poster:fallsfall
thread:277342
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277830.html