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Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? Dena

Posted by allisonross on November 11, 2005, at 12:40:23

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? allisonross, posted by Dena on November 11, 2005, at 11:18:29

> Dearest Dena (love your name)Ally,
> You wrote:
> "I was voted out of a 31-year church membership (my name put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD...beause I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse.
> If you read my thread: I Bet You Never Heard a Story Like this, you can read what happened."
> Absolutely heartbreaking! Few things hurt worse than to be "crucified" by fellow believers...
> Something eerily similar happened to me (what? is there a script these folks follow or something?).


I, too, suffered at the hands of those I was in fellowship with. And the journey of healing has been almost as painful as the original offense...!

It's been 3 years, and I still have nightmares. But, fortunately i am SO resilient; seems nuthing gets me down (much, LOL); childhood of abuse, 31 years of abusive marriage, followed by spiritual abuse!
> I was recently led to a book that I, in turn, recommend to you: Gene Edwards wrote it (fabulous, gifted author, who writes in almost parable form): "Exquisite Agony": When Christians Hurt Other Christians.

Guess what! I read it! I copied tons of what he said; I have a 4 drawer filing cabinet FULL of books and information from the internet on spiritual abuse. There is another great website:'s about women who have been hurt in a church.

The moderator wrote to me, and said she was SO prooud of me for standing up and not letting the church re-abuse me, and then she surprised me, and said "what you did was so kick-a**!! Well, then I love it, cause I love authentic people!
> It's NOT anything you'd expect... but it's about seeing the trauma through God's perspective -- necessary, I've come to believe, for true healing.

Couple other excellent books:

When Bad Christians Happen to Good people by dave Burchett (he may use some of my poems in his next book); I can guarantee---

you will be laughing out loud on nearly every page. He signed my guestbook , also.

The other one: Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli (I spoke to him on the phone, and what an authentic (one of my favorite words) man he was (he was killed last year)..

.when i told him what the deacons asked me (are you still having sex with your ex)....he said i should have asked them: "are you still master******?!

Again, I was shocked, having just met him, but then I cracked up; my therapist roared; he said that was a "classic."
> May you be blessed...

Thankyou, sweetie! It is angels like you, who bless me

P.S. Did you read my website (

What makes the church debacle so ironic, is how I grew up, and that ucky marriage thing: LOL!

I was also published in an on-line journal:, entitled; The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse>

> Shalom, Dena

Blessings to you, also, Dena!

Hugs n grins, Ally




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